In a bizarre opinion filed on Monday in "The Case of the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Bikini Top v. The (More) Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Pastie," a federal district court judge pined longingly for now-deceased burlesque dancer Miss Wiggles, suggested that the parties involved reach a "happy ending" after engaging in "reasonable discovery intercourse" and experiencing "the peaks and valleys of litigation," and formally denied a strip club's effort to "seek an erection" by featuring mostly topless dancers, in defiance of San Antonio decency regulations.
2:03 AM 04/30/2013
If the Boston Marathon bombings had occurred in 2010, top congressional and Homeland Security officials criticizing the "rush" to Mirandize suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev would have had more than a few allies in the White House.
12:27 PM 03/05/2013
Without informing readers in the story or elsewhere, on Monday night The Washington Post deleted its explicit claim that the Dominican prostitute who recanted her allegation against Sen. Robert Menendez had appeared in a video posted to The Daily Caller.
6:35 PM 02/26/2013
Illinois state Rep. Jim Sacia today decried efforts by Chicago politicians to legislate statewide gun-control measures, comparing their schemes to castrating individuals who are not reproducing excessively as a means of population control.
3:53 AM 02/23/2013
Influential lobbyist Gary Marbut and dozens of elected pro-gun conservatives across the country are making it clear they're willing to ignore most of the Constitution to preserve the Second Amendment.
2:14 AM 02/23/2013
President Barack Obama and former White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew repeatedly lied last year by claiming congressional Republicans were responsible for the looming $85 billion cut in the federal budget through sequestration, according to The Washington Post editor Bob Woodward.
9:30 AM 02/19/2013
Despite a history of banning items it deems "offensive," the online auction website eBay is continuing to allow users to sell the handheld video game "Laden vs. USA," in which players fly airliners into a crude depiction of the World Trade Center.
1:30 PM 02/14/2013
The New York Times is under attack from electronic-car maker Tesla, whose chairman and CEO on Wednesday posted a full-page, data-filled refutation of claims made by Times reporter John Broder that its Model S failed spectacularly during a test drive.
5:47 AM 02/13/2013
Shortly before a fire destroyed the cabin in which accused cop-killer Christopher Dorner was seemingly holed up, Los Angeles police officers made numerous references to "burners" over the radio, with at least one officer appearing to shout "fucking burn this motherfucking house down. ... fucking burn this motherfucker."
11:17 PM 02/02/2013
A 2012 Honda Civic bizarrely in the parking lot of a BJ's Wholesale Club in Stoneham, Mass. on Sunday, after its owner used a key fob to remotely unlock its doors.
1:01 PM 01/19/2013
A prominent Bulgarian politician survived what appeared to be a dramatic point-blank assassination attempt on Saturday, when an unidentified man pointed a gas pistol at his head and fired in front of hundreds of horrified onlookers.
8:55 AM 01/15/2013
The Atlantic magazine has pulled a paid article lauding the recent achievements of the Church of Scientology, amid widespread outrage on the Internet and concerns that the propaganda piece undermined the storied publication's credibility.
3:30 PM 01/12/2013
This week, Wyoming lawmakers introduced a bill banning the federal government from enforcing an assault weapons ban or a prohibition on high-capacity magazines in the state, calling the effort an attempt to "take the Second Amendment seriously."
11:11 PM 01/11/2013
One former staffer issued press release citing strange non-disclosure forms, unpaid bills
1:08 AM 01/11/2013
Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann is still refusing to pay five Iowa staffers who worked on her unsuccessful run for president in 2012, a former top aide claimed Thursday. Bachmann, he said, is requiring them to sign non-disclosure agreements before they are paid.
1:22 PM 12/29/2012
The 62-year-old convicted felon who gunned down two firefighters and wounded three first responders on Christmas Eve in Webster, New York used weapons his neighbor illegally purchased for him, according to state and federal authorities.
11:50 AM 12/27/2012
In an effort to stop youngsters from picking up a tobacco habit, city inspectors have ordered a small Minnesota soda shop to stop selling its popular candy cigarettes and bubblegum cigars.
3:16 AM 12/15/2012
A poll conducted last week by an Iowa-based firm showed Americans are conflicted about whether or not to support raising tax rates on wealthy Americans to avert the so-called "fiscal cliff." But that's not how Bloomberg News, which commissioned the poll, reported the results Thursday.
9:50 PM 12/09/2012
Approximately 50 workers for the Communications Workers of America union interrupted a cancer benefit in Times Square on Thursday to protest their stalled contract talks with Cablevision Systems Corporation, according to the New York Post.
