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Jim Treacher

Seattle Mayor Requests Removal Of Lenin Statue

4:08 PM 08/17/2017

Did you know that there's a statue of Vladimir Lenin at an intersection in Seattle? That's because it's Seattle. And because Seattle is in the United States of America, nominally, most people have no problem seeing a statue of one of history's losers. Who cares? It's just a statue.

‘Protesters’ Try To Tear Down Atlanta’s Peace Monument

11:29 AM 08/17/2017

I put "protesters" in quotes because that's how these guys are always described, as if vandalism is just a form of protest. As if violence is just a form of protest. It's not. It's vandalism and violence. They're vandals and thugs. We shouldn't condone it, no matter how we feel about their reasons.

Trump Removes WH Bikeshare Station That Obama Put In

6:06 PM 08/16/2017

I have neither the inclination to defend President Trump nor the energy to condemn him. Apparently, I'm expected either to demand his resignation yesterday or to declare him President-For-Life. Either one is fine. Whatever. I'm outraged out. This is what you wanted, America, and this is what you got.

Now They’re Comparing Antifa To American Vets

11:07 AM 08/16/2017

America beat the Nazis. Then America beat the Commies. Now some self-styled Nazis are fighting some self-styled Commies on American soil, and our veterans have been drafted without their knowledge or consent. The Greatest Generation are now Communists, whether they like it or not.

Confederate Memorial Removed From Hollywood Forever Cemetery

5:28 AM 08/16/2017

There's nothing like a good ol' moral panic to give everybody something to live for, is there? Gets the blood pumping, makes you feel like you've accomplished something. For a little while, anyway. Until the next time you need a quick fix of outrage. And you will.

Millennials Finally End The Civil War

11:20 AM 08/15/2017

As every living American with European ancestors knows, the Confederacy is our fault. We did that. We're responsible for that. It's our solemn duty to apologize at every turn for looking like people who died 150 years ago. If you don't think it's your fault just because you weren't even born yet, you're a racist.

Internet Detectives Dox Guy Who Was 1,000 Miles From Charlottesville

9:00 AM 08/15/2017

During Trump's inauguration, there was footage of a woman setting a Trump supporter's hair on fire. It really made me angry. I don't like Trump, I don't trust Trump, and I didn't vote for Trump, but this is the United States and you should be able to support your elected leaders without being set on fire. So I posted the clip of the attack and asked if anybody recognized the culprit so the cops could do something. Then a bunch of Internet detectives started harassing a woman who only vaguely resembled the culprit, so I posted a follow-up noting that they had the wrong woman and begging them to stop harassing her. As far as I know, the psycho who hated Trump so much that she publicly set someone on fire is still at large. But I still feel bad that I inadvertently helped put someone else in danger, and I hope I helped put it right.

POLL: Pick Jim Acosta’s Next Snappy Comeback

4:45 PM 08/14/2017

Earlier today, President Trump once again accused CNN of spreading fake news. CNN's Jim Acosta, no stranger to fire-ass owns himself, retorted: "Haven't you spread a lot of fake news yourself, sir?" BOOM!!! (Sure, the implicit admission on Acosta's part is that CNN has spread a lot of fake news, but whatevs.) Now that we understand the parameters of Acosta's job, Dear Reader, we can help him think of some more awesome comebacks to use.