If I'm supposed to care that Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) is boycotting Trump's inauguration, and if it's somehow a big deal that Trump hit back at him like everybody knew he would, then the following item seems relevant.
Jim Treacher | All Articles
I don't think a politician should be held accountable for the actions of every single one of his followers, whether the politician is a Democrat, a Republican, or Trump. As Ronald Reagan once said, when some creep tried to pull that dirty trick on him: "They support me; I don't support them." So I don't blame the president-elect for the handful of alt-right cretins who worship him, or pretend to worship him because they think it's funny, or whatever they're doing.
Is that how to do one of those headlines? It must be. If you're reading this, that meant I baited you into clicking it...
The Pulse nightclub massacre, committed by Omar Mateen, happened 7 months ago. Mateen's wife disappeared soon after, and nobody seemed to know or care where she went. Why would they? There was no way to blame the NRA or the Republican Party.
I know Stephen Colbert has been busy trying to hold on to second place in the late-night ratings, but maybe he should pick up a newspaper now and then. He's already forgotten who the president is!
Like I always say (and I do mean always), animals are dumb. They are the greatest enemies of mankind, and I only tolerate their existence for three purposes: pets, food, and/or transportation. Otherwise, those repulsive beasts are on their own. Sorry, Cecil.
See? That's just a myth. Those things have absolutely no effect whatsoever on vampires.
I've been a Joss Whedon fan ever since Sarah Michelle Gellar staked her first guest star. And for almost as long, I've been exasperated by Whedon's moronic political opinions. But what you're about to see is surprising, even for him.
So now it's okay to attack Jews in Germany. Why do I feel like I've heard this story before?
Some very problematic news today from the U.S. Mint. #smdh
I don't particularly like Donald Trump. I definitely don't trust Donald Trump. And I absolutely did not vote for Donald Trump. But that doesn't mean I'm going to pretend he's been the President of the United States for the past 8 years, and that all the bad stuff in the world is now his fault.
How in the world did Hillary Clinton lose?
Congratulations, crybullies. Your era is fading fast, but you can still pull out a win every now and then.
Looks like you missed your last shot at the title, Joe. But here ya go. Here's a bauble.
The answer may surprise you! I'm sure it'll surprise me too, once I figure out what it is.
Here's the latest thing you're supposed to be outraged about. It's the trailer for a new show called Urban Myths, which is about those... Oh, what do you call 'em? They're stories, sort of like fairy tales, except they're set in more recent times and are peopled with actual people. I can't remember what those are called.
"Oooh. Oh boy. Sorry about that. I had the shrimp salad at lunch..."
At lot of people are angry at Jimmy Fallon for normalizing Donald Trump -- i.e., clowning around with the guy like any other guest, instead of screaming "Hitler!" in his face while a howling mob lowered him into a cauldron of boiling oil. If you're one of those tormented souls who can't believe that the clown you begged the GOP to nominate actually won, and you're blaming Fallon for some unfathomable reason, he wants to make it up to you. He wants you to know that he can fawn all over Michelle Obama too, just like everybody else who matters or wants to matter.
BuzzFeed has been having a pretty bad day. First they put out a story about Trump and some Russian hookers engaging in water sports, and it turned out to be a bunch of nonsense. Then Trump yelled at them in front of everybody. It's enough to make any '90s kid down in the dumps! [insert Arthur cartoon GIF here]