Of course not. Nobody can. Even if you speed-cloned Ronald Reagan by Nov. 8 and made a time-travelling Ben Franklin his running mate, it wouldn't stop the untrammelled growth of government. But apparently, that's the threat they want us to think we face if we elect Orange Julius Caesar.
Jim Treacher | All Articles
All Donald Trump has to do during the debate tonight is avoid falling into old habits. All Hillary Clinton has to do is avoid falling.
"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal." -- Richard Milhous Nixon
Remember this, at the GOP convention?
We're not supposed to talk about Hillary Clinton's health issues. Ever. When she falls down and hits her head, or collapses in the street, or YELLS INTO A CAMERA IN AN EMPTY ROOM, the topic is off-limits. It's sexist. Because she's a woman.
As a loyal Trekkie, I've often wondered what it would be like to drink "synthehol," the fictional beverage with all of alcohol's pleasures and none of the drawbacks. As with everything else about Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future, it's always seemed like a pipe dream. (All apologies to opiate addicts.) But now a scientist in Britain has brought us one step closer to that glorious day. So, of course, he's being hampered by meddlesome government functionaries.
Yuck. Gross. This whole story. Eww.
In 1991, a guy named Rodney King was a victim of police brutality by the LAPD. On April 29, 1992, a jury acquitted the cops who beat him, and Los Angeles plunged into six days of rioting.
"Power through." That was Team Hillary's message last week, after the whole world watched Grandma collapse in the street. First they told us she'd been diagnosed with pneumonia the previous Friday. Then they patiently explained to us, over and over, the very good reason she ignored that diagnosis:
It's been said that truth is stranger than fiction. Not this time! This time, it's definitely the other way around. No, really.
I missed the following exchange
last Monday a long time ago, because it happened on MSNBC. As you're about to see, a rather hostile-sounding Chuck Todd asked Senator Ben Sasse (R-NE) to define conservatism. I assume Chuck was frustrated with Sasse's refusal to submit to Trump, thereby confirming Chuck's biases about Republicans. Or maybe Chuck was having a bad day. Or is that just how he talks? It's been so long, I can't remember.
It was funny when Anthony Weiner messed up the first time, tweeting out a dong pic and then trying and disastrously failing to blame it on Andrew Breitbart. It was even funnier when he destroyed his NYC mayoral campaign by sexting with some airhead from Evansville, IN. But it got a lot less funny when he sent a very inappropriate family photo to a still-unnamed, fortyish Trump supporter who really, really takes care of herself. And now the humor value has finally run out.
Joss Whedon was the co-creator of Firefly, a show so libertarian that the ship was shaped like Drew Carey. So of course it was cancelled after 11 episodes, because everybody hates libertarians. And like all third-wave feminists in good standing, last year I was furious at Whedon for making the Black Widow sad that she can never have a child. Joss Whedon is problematic, is what I'm saying.
"First of all, I speak for all of us when I say that in this trying time, our thoughts and prayers go out to Brangelina..."
ISIS is on the run. Obama got Bin Laden. (Well, Hillary did, but he helped.) And yet you wingnuts keep freaking out about terrorism, instead of climate change and the NRA and whatever else you're supposed to be freaking out about.
You may know Sarah Silverman from such films as... um...
#NotAllMuslims are terrorists, but Dahir Adan was. That's the name of the terrorist who ran around a mall in Minnesota on Saturday, asking people if they were Muslim and then stabbing them. Nobody was killed, and that's thanks to a civilian who put a stop to it by exercising his Second Amendment rights.
If you see something... welllllll...