Sometimes it's hard to keep track of all the bad things #NotAllMuslims are doing. But it's important to pay attention, because #NotAllMuslims are doing the bad things. Also, Christians do bad things too.
Jim Treacher | All Articles
Ah, the beautiful utopia of Seattle. You can smoke all the weed you want, and the ensuing McDonald's run is guilt-free because you know everybody there is making $15 an hour. Speaking of garbage, in Seattle you can rest soundly in the knowledge that the municipal government is pursuing your traitorous neighbors who are killing Gaia by throwing away their coffee grounds and melon rinds. And to remain on the topic of garbage, in Seattle you won't get called out for marching against capitalism while tweeting about it on your iPhone.
I realize that if you've already jumped on the Trump Train, you don't care whether anything he says is true or false. That's not the point of Donald Trump. Just the opposite, really. After 8 years of Obama's lies, and the prospect of 4-8 more years of Hillary Clinton's lies, some Republicans have decided they prefer Trump's lies. It's a strange form of revenge: Republicans have put up with the Democrats brazenly lying to them for the better part of a decade, and now it's time for Democrats to put up with a "Republican's" brazen lies. So there.
Last year I told you about a Seattle ordinance that authorized garbage collectors to fine people who put more than 10% food waste in their trash cans. That's right, it's now somebody's job in Seattle to go out and judge other people's garbage. Their commitment to saving the planet is so strong that they've basically invented trashcrime.
Greg Garrison is a longtime conservative talk-radio host on WIBC here in Indianapolis. Back in 1992, he was the prosecutor who put Mike Tyson away for raping a beauty-pageant contestant named Desiree Washington in an Indianapolis hotel. And today, Garrison is not at all happy with Donald Trump.
Last year, a Green Beret named Charles Martland was kicked out of the Army for "body slamming a local Afghani police chief... who had been allegedly raping young boys." The man laughed it off, so Martland kicked his ass. Martland has maintained that the act was morally justified, and I know of no sane person who disagrees. Disciplining him was justified, but discharging him entirely was not.
Those ISIS boys like to put out videos depicting themselves as fierce warriors. But according to this footage obtained by VICE News, they're not so much jihadi legends as they are Jerry Lewis.
OK, write down your answer...
Has this ever happened to you, fellas: All you want to do is spend a pleasant afternoon hanging around in a women's bathroom or public changing facility, because that's what you feel compelled to do. But then some meddler goes and calls the cops on you!
Oliver Stone has written and directed a movie about Edward Snowden, presumably because a Benedict Arnold biopic would've required too much research.
There wasn't a lot of good news for conservatives last night. A lifetime liberal, habitual liar, and all-around awful human being took one step closer to clinching the nomination, and so did Hillary Clinton. But at least we can take comfort in one undeniable fact: DeRay got stomped.
I have to admit, the following is the only good reason I could give you to vote for the worst presidential candidate of my lifetime. But I just can't do it. Not even to get rid of Lena Dunham.
ATTN Game of Thrones fans: Your assistance is needed. But first, you must put aside your own well-being.
Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress in disgrace after he sent pictures of his penis to women who weren't his wife and then tried to blame his critics for it. A couple of years later, in a bid to rehabilitate his political career, Weiner decided to run for mayor of New York City. The plan was that, win or lose, he would prove his mettle as a serious-minded man of the people. He would make everyone forget his past transgressions. He would take the "wiener" out of "Weiner."
OUT: "You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!"
IN: "You can't sing 'The Star-Spangled Banner' here. This is the 9/11 Memorial!"
Michael Stipe used to be the lead singer for a popular rock band called R.E.M. That was a long time ago.
Sometimes, people who just happen to be teenagers do bad things. But they don't do those bad things because they're teenagers. Plenty of other teenagers don't do bad things! Plus, adults do bad things too.
I would've been in my early teens the first time I ever saw Prince on MTV. It might've been "1999," or maybe "Controversy" before that, I'm not sure. I just remember being weirded out by the freaky dude in mascara, but really liking the guitars.
Yesterday, journalist and world-class troll* Milo Yiannopoulos spoke at DC's American University. And, as tends to be the case when conservative speakers dare to set foot on a college campus in 2016, he was met by angry protesters.