Timothy Philen | All Articles

Timothy Philen
Timothy Philen
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      Timothy Philen

      Timothy Philen is the author of Harper&Row/Lippincott's "You CAN Run Away From It!" a satirical indictment of American pop psychology. He is currently at work on a latter-day “Walden,” a tightly knit collection of essays on post-modern American culture.

Putin’s Great Advantage: He Thinks Like A Freak

Russia's President Vladimir Putin speaks during a session of the St. Petersburg International Economic Forum 2014 (SPIEF 2014) in St. Petersburg, in this file picture taken May 23, 2014. (REUTERS/Sergei Karpukhin/Files)

One of the classic cartoons by offbeat humorist Gary Larson showed two pioneers huddled behind a covered wagon, shotguns raised, watching an Indian’s flaming arrow ignite the wagon just inches above their heads. One turns to the other in disbelief and cries, “They’re lighting their arrows on fire! Can they DO that?”

Where’s the outrage, my little droogies?

12:27 PM 08/23/2013

A bit of the old ennui is upon us and I have a warm vibraty feeling all through my guttiwuts that this yonder veek whiter than the Korova Milk Bar is ripe for a surprise visit. Into the Durango-95 with our Wesson-22 we go, smecking all over our rots as we grind our capsule into his tortured litso, a real kick and good for laughs and lashing of the ultra-violent!

The Father’s Day gift that keeps on giving

12:30 PM 06/14/2013

Each June, the National Father’s Day Council honors a few exemplary men whose selfless dedication, personal sacrifice and cultural impact rise above the well-intentioned efforts of the average father and serve as benchmarks against which we workaday dads can measure ourselves in the coming year.

In defense of millennials

7:36 PM 05/29/2013

My wife and I just completed a milestone journey from our Santa Monica Mountains home to the hallowed halls of Baylor University, deep in the heart of Texas, for our daughter’s graduation. This “Lone Star trek into darkness,” as I’m sure most leftists would characterize it, was actually a most enlightening experience.

An epiphany for Republicans

12:19 PM 01/03/2013

We conservatives love to quote Will Rogers’ line that he didn’t belong to any organized political party --- he was a Democrat.

They’re not called ‘Dem-agogues’ for nothing!

1:02 AM 12/18/2012

Who says leftist government can’t be efficient and responsive? Within minutes of the Sandy Hook massacre, Democratic legislators and their news media shills sprang into action, rounding up the usual NRA suspects and targeting anyone else who thinks that gun control is not the antidote to mass murder.

It can still be ‘a wonderful life’ for Republicans

8:36 PM 12/02/2012

For three weeks now, this depressed conservative has struggled to find what some of my editorial betters claim to have found in the rubble of November 6th: shards of hope pointing not to a decisive defeat, but to a determined Madisonian electorate wisely choosing to re-install divided government to prevent the kind of legislative mischief that could lead to permanent fiscal and social ruin.

The sins of Cardinal Quinn

12:51 PM 11/12/2012

Washington Post religion editor Sally Quinn added cardinal and clairvoyant to her credentials on Friday when she wrote “Sins of the Son,” pronouncing the Reverend Franklin Graham apostate for the newfound transgression of elder abuse for political gain.

Not your grandfather’s atheists

12:23 AM 10/15/2012

Don’t you miss those nerdy science types with the crooked glasses and skinny ties, stumbling through their monotone manifestos on the public access channel?