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Timothy Philen | All Articles
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Timothy Philen is the author of Harper&Row/Lippincott's "You CAN Run Away From It!" a satirical indictment of American pop psychology. He is currently at work on a latter-day “Walden,” a tightly knit collection of essays on post-modern American culture.
Away with those measly Mussolini metaphors. Let us finally and fully give Julius Trumpus his due. He hath proven the soothsayers wrong once again.
For cable news abusers like myself, the intervention of summer signals a painful season of withdrawal.
One of the classic cartoons by offbeat humorist Gary Larson showed two pioneers huddled behind a covered wagon, shotguns raised, watching an Indian’s flaming arrow ignite the wagon just inches above their heads. One turns to the other in disbelief and cries, “They’re lighting their arrows on fire! Can they DO that?”
The conservative cacophony over Pope Francis’ “revolutionary” pontificate has almost been drowned out by the gushing approval of the liberal media.
After two weeks of collective cringing as President Obama’s Syria “strategy” unraveled, even his own public relations firm -- the mainstream American news media -- was forced to offer some serious, albeit tepid, criticism.
A bit of the old ennui is upon us and I have a warm vibraty feeling all through my guttiwuts that this yonder veek whiter than the Korova Milk Bar is ripe for a surprise visit. Into the Durango-95 with our Wesson-22 we go, smecking all over our rots as we grind our capsule into his tortured litso, a real kick and good for laughs and lashing of the ultra-violent!
Weiner to Spitzer to chance?
It’s been a long six months for this conservative.
Each June, the National Father’s Day Council honors a few exemplary men whose selfless dedication, personal sacrifice and cultural impact rise above the well-intentioned efforts of the average father and serve as benchmarks against which we workaday dads can measure ourselves in the coming year.
My wife and I just completed a milestone journey from our Santa Monica Mountains home to the hallowed halls of Baylor University, deep in the heart of Texas, for our daughter’s graduation. This “Lone Star trek into darkness,” as I’m sure most leftists would characterize it, was actually a most enlightening experience.
Warren Jeffs must be banging his head against the walls of his prison cell these days.
According to some conspiracy theorists, President Obama is finally wising up about the Axis of Evil.
From a rumbling standstill to a roaring Winternationals peel off the line, the next election is suddenly full throttle.
There has always been something strangely fascinating to me about Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
We conservatives love to quote Will Rogers’ line that he didn’t belong to any organized political party --- he was a Democrat.
Who says leftist government can’t be efficient and responsive? Within minutes of the Sandy Hook massacre, Democratic legislators and their news media shills sprang into action, rounding up the usual NRA suspects and targeting anyone else who thinks that gun control is not the antidote to mass murder.
For three weeks now, this depressed conservative has struggled to find what some of my editorial betters claim to have found in the rubble of November 6th: shards of hope pointing not to a decisive defeat, but to a determined Madisonian electorate wisely choosing to re-install divided government to prevent the kind of legislative mischief that could lead to permanent fiscal and social ruin.