Editorial

I Suffered A Head Injury At The Bar Due To A Beer Bottle. Status For College Football Viewing: Probable

David Hookstead (Credit: David Hookstead)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sad to announce I suffered a head injury Friday night at the bar.

Now, I know many of you are wondering and panicking if I’ll be ready to go today for college football after last night.

First, I’d like to make clear what happened. After hearing an absurd comment from a friend deep in a debate, I spun my head around to make a counterpoint. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

What I didn’t know was that there was a beer bottle right there, which quickly got intimate with my forehead.

It was brutal. It was a shot to the head that would have killed most men right on the spot. It was the kind of hit that could have knocked out even the toughest of men.

Despite that, I realized I was at a crossroad. I could lay down and die after yet another head injury or I could push onward.

As you all know, I’ve been hospitalized many times throughout my life for head injuries. The next one could always be the last one.

Luckily, I woke up today and made the choice to push forward. If the boys on D-Day weren’t going to retreat, then I have no right to take it easy just because I took a beer bottle to the head.

The masses are looking to me for leadership. What message would I be sending if I got into the fetal position and just put ice on it? It’d be disgraceful.

Now, with a day of college football ahead of us all, I’d like to officially clear up any speculation about my health for this beautiful Saturday.

I’m officially listed as probable for college football today. If this was May, would I take it easier? Sure, but this is the college football season.

This is when we gut it out and find out who we are. This is where we separate the boys from the men. You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let a little head injury stop me from crushing my usual routine.

Save your prayers and well wishes for somebody who needs them. I’m David Hookstead, and I have a college football program to lead.

To all the critics, haters and losers out there, I’m sorry I didn’t die last night. I guess you’re just going to have to watch my rise to the top of the mountain for a little longer.

Hit the music!