Editors at The Washington Post seem to believe December 26th is the new April 1st, choosing three headlines for the front page of today’s paper that appear to come straight from the minds of the satirical Babylon Bee’s most twisted authors.
The centerfold front page of Jeff Bezos’ Washington Post is a story entitled ‘On The Hunt For Climate Disease.’ The story follows a group of scientists searching for disease-spreading mosquitoes in the Amazon rainforest. They detail the use of a drone named after the mosquito that spreads Dengue fever, a disease that most experts surmise originated over 1,000 years ago, long before the Industrial Revolution that supposedly kickstarted today’s climate change.
The story makes no mention of the left’s precious Big Pharma, whose antibiotics have spurred a whole new generation of deadly medicine resistant bacteria such as MRSA.
An additional side panel claims ‘Vaccine Foes Are Gaining Power’ as if candidates for office are running against literal syringes and not the dystopian Democrats who want to eliminate Americans’ right to choose what they put in their bodies.
Not entirely clear how the parody version of this would be different pic.twitter.com/r9EyqrqqoV
— Curt Mills (@CurtMills) December 26, 2023
But the bell of the ball is the left inlet, which highlights the plight of our Eurasian foes in Russia, drawing our attention to ‘A Brutal Struggle For Russian Queers.’ Yeah WaPo, in a country where Vladimir Putin’s political opponents vanish and are kept off ballots (cough, Colorado, cough) the most important issue to cover is their lack of drag queen story hour. (RELATED: WaPo Staff Walk Off The Job As The Outlet Hemorrhages Money, Lays Off Employees)
We live in a time where the Fed continually debases our currency, lowering the value of the American dollar and making us all just a little bit poorer every day. Our federal government gives priority to undocumented (and often unvaccinated) migrants who pour in through our porous southern border. Children are being mutilated without their parents’ knowledge, let alone consent. And the issues our friends at the Washington Post believe deserve to be front and center? Gay Russians and climate change.
You can’t make this stuff up folks! I truly feel for the writers at the Babylon Bee. At this point it has to be hard to come up with satire that doesn’t outright plagiarize the absurd liberal papers that shape American discourse. Maybe they could bring in Harvard’s Claudine Gay to consult on how to plagiarize and get away with it.