Sorry ladies, but a study published in January argued that your “love languages” are probably bullshit, so can you shut the heck up about them?
The concept of “love languages” was first popularized by Baptist pastor Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, “The 5 Love Languages.” The overarching hypothesis is that each person has a preferred method of showing love. And when couples learn to communicate in each other’s “love languages,” their relationship grows stronger.
Personally, I know countless women who define their entire relationships around the concept of their “love language,” and it is pretty grating. Though there are definitely elements of truth to the idea, new research published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science begs to differ on “love language” legitimacy.
“Love is not akin to a language one needs to learn to speak but can be more appropriately understood as a balanced diet in which people need a full range of essential nutrients to cultivate lasting love,” the authors of the study noted in their abstract.
Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective – Emily A. Impett, Haeyoung Gideon Park, Amy Muise, 2024 https://t.co/ZXE7aAGT8W
— sub (@psychama22) January 27, 2024
Through a wider analysis, the researchers uncovered limited empirical evidence that “love languages” are a predictor of relationship success. Instead, research suggests that “successful relationships require that partners have a comprehensive understanding of one another’s needs and put in the effort to respond to those needs.”
This might seem like a massively “well duh” conclusion. But given how many of you still talk about “love languages,” it is definitely worth mentioning. (RELATED: ‘Love Is Beautiful And Deadly’: The Shocking Things We Learned From A Reformed Nigerian Love Scammer)
Relationships work when two people are honest, listen to each other and find a way to provide what their partners actually want from life. Many people are all-too-quick to play games or assume they want a certain quality from their partner without actually thinking about what those qualities mean in reality. And just as many are quick to assume they know what their partners want instead of just asking them out-right.
So how about, this Valentines Day, put your ego to the side, sit down and get to know you and your partner’s nutritional love diet? Or just order take out and watch a movie. I really don’t care.