And the Muslim-American community braces for the inevitable backlash that somehow never seems to happen.
Jim Treacher | All Articles
Watch and weep, #NeverTrump crybabies.
I may be a man without a party these days, but that doesn't mean I'm going to start voting Democrat. Especially not when my home state of Indiana keeps bringing back phony creeps like Evan Bayh.
In recent years, the staunchly left-wing Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has become an unlikely folk hero among millennials and other scum. And over the past few months, failed quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been praised by many of the same America-hating vermin for refusing to stand for the National Anthem before games. But what happens when these two titans of liberal thought find themselves at odds?
I turned on the second presidential debate of the 2016 campaign out of a sense of civic obligation. "This is all happening whether I like it or not," I told myself. "Ignoring it won't make it go away." But I spent most of the 90
years minutes unable to look directly at the screen. A month away from the election, my brain now recoils with revulsion at the sight of either of these two monsters. Seeing both of them at once is just too much. So I mostly relied on the evidence of my sense of hearing, which was similarly tormented. Trump rambled and pouted and sniffled incessantly, and Hillary's piercing, droning squawk of a voice cut right through my soul. I hate them both so much.
"Look, Mike, don't worry. This is no big deal. It's not like women can vote anyway... What? Really? When did THIS happen?"
Better late than never, eh, Dave?
I have a bit of a history with Fantagraphics Books. The dumb pseudonym "Jim Treacher" came about waaaaaay back in the 20th Century, when I wanted to post to the Fantagraphics message board (back when they had a message board and were publishing stuff I cared about) without anybody at work finding out (back when I had a real job). I think I picked this idiotic pen name because it sounded like "gym teacher," but I can't even remember. Anyway, the jerks at Fantagraphics kicked me off their message board because they didn't like me, but I kept using the name when I started blogging (instead of my real name, back when it was Sean Medlock). I'm just a silly goose, I guess!
In much the same way that Caitlyn Jenner, Chelsea Manning, and the Wachowski Sisters are women and always have been women, Rachel Dolezal is a black person. She is black. She is an African-American.
Earlier this week Andrew Kaczynski, who once falsely claimed I accused Hillary Clinton of faking an injury, jumped ship from BuzzFeed over to CNN. This was a surprise move, a little over a month before the election, and it set a lot of tongues wagging. (Well, at least among people who care about what happens at BuzzFeed and CNN.) And now, just days later, Jeff Zucker is already getting his money's worth!
I don't want to say Tim Kaine is a horse's patoot, because he's probably a pretty nice guy when you talk to him one-on-one. But boy, is he ever terrible at debating. He was a huge jerk during the VP debate last night, and I could only watch a few minutes of him constantly talking over Mike Pence.
One of the great things about living in America is that we can criticize any world leader we want. I can say, "Obama is a crappy president and I don't like him," and the worst thing anybody can do is call me a racist. (Obama is black.) I can't go to prison for stuff like that. Yet!
Millennials get a bad rap, just because they're generally awful human beings. But a vote is a vote, so both of the incredibly old people running for president in 2016 are trying to appeal to the young and stupid. Trump is doing it by tweeting lots of moronic garbage all the time, which is known in some quarters as "sh*tposting" and is considered admirable for some reason. Hillary can't compete in that arena, but hey, at least she's got the President of the Environment.
It's not easy being an Islamic terrorist. You pray five times a day, you make sure all your friends know that you hate the infidels as much as they do, and so forth. You're a team player. You're doing everything right. Then, one day, some knucklehead has to go and send you to Heaven before you've even earned your 72 virgins! Ain't that always the way?
I already know this election's "October Surprise," and it's this: By the end of this month, everyone but me will be surprised that nobody managed to say or do anything that changed the mind of a single, solitary prospective voter.
There was a time when I thought stories like the following actually mattered. I thought that knowing the truth changed things. I thought that laws, even if they didn't apply to everybody, still meant something.
Everybody's raving about Alec Baldwin's impersonation of Donald Trump on SNL this weekend. He "nailed it," and it was "spot-on" and "perfect." Which makes sense, considering Baldwin has spent a lifetime preparing for this role. Did you know that he has his own long history of saying stupid, boorish, bigoted things?
Pandas are the worst. All animals are dumb and I don't like them -- except, of course, for a snack. But pandas are in a league all their own. Cockroaches with fur. Behind those adorable eyes is nothing but pure evil, and I refuse to give in to their bumbling charms.
If that's the case, why is everybody talking about Miss Universe 1996?
If there's anything worse than Islamic terrorists blowing things up because they think Allah wants them to, it's a bunch of loose talk about Islamic terrorists blowing things up because they think Allah wants them to.