Remember Corporal Klinger on M*A*S*H? He was the fellow who wore women's clothes so the Army would declare him a Section 8 and send him home. In later seasons of the show, he gave it up and stopped being hilarious. But now, Bradley Manning has pulled off that ploy in real life. Obama is the first president in U.S. history to commute the sentence of a "woman" for the crimes of a man.
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With the looming inauguration of Donald Trump, there's no avoiding the fact that America in 2017 is a hotbed of racism unlike anyplace else on the planet. We haven't seen such bigotry since the days of Emmett Till. And sadly, the following story just proves the point even further.
Hang onto your hats, everybody. I've heard some crazy stuff in my time, but a guy killing a bunch of people and then claiming he did it in the name of Islam? That doesn't sound right to me!
Are you an abortion enthusiast, but you're tired of explaining to a bunch of dumb hillbillies why it's so great to kill a child before it can inconvenience you? Lena Dunham and J.J. Abrams know your pain, and they've created a short film to explain why all those anti-choice baby-huggers are wrong and Planned Parenthood is great. The film is called 100 Years, but with J.J. on board, I'm giving it a new title: The Forceps Awaken.
One thousand words aren't enough to express my happiness.
Noor Tagouri is a young journalist and, apparently, the first woman to wear a hijab in Playboy magazine. She is not Noor Salman, the wife of Pulse nightclub shooter Omar Mateen.
If I'm supposed to care that Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) is boycotting Trump's inauguration, and if it's somehow a big deal that Trump hit back at him like everybody knew he would, then the following item seems relevant.
I don't think a politician should be held accountable for the actions of every single one of his followers, whether the politician is a Democrat, a Republican, or Trump. As Ronald Reagan once said, when some creep tried to pull that dirty trick on him: "They support me; I don't support them." So I don't blame the president-elect for the handful of alt-right cretins who worship him, or pretend to worship him because they think it's funny, or whatever they're doing.
Is that how to do one of those headlines? It must be. If you're reading this, that meant I baited you into clicking it...
The Pulse nightclub massacre, committed by Omar Mateen, happened 7 months ago. Mateen's wife disappeared soon after, and nobody seemed to know or care where she went. Why would they? There was no way to blame the NRA or the Republican Party.
I know Stephen Colbert has been busy trying to hold on to second place in the late-night ratings, but maybe he should pick up a newspaper now and then. He's already forgotten who the president is!
Like I always say (and I do mean always), animals are dumb. They are the greatest enemies of mankind, and I only tolerate their existence for three purposes: pets, food, and/or transportation. Otherwise, those repulsive beasts are on their own. Sorry, Cecil.
See? That's just a myth. Those things have absolutely no effect whatsoever on vampires.
I've been a Joss Whedon fan ever since Sarah Michelle Gellar staked her first guest star. And for almost as long, I've been exasperated by Whedon's moronic political opinions. But what you're about to see is surprising, even for him.
So now it's okay to attack Jews in Germany. Why do I feel like I've heard this story before?
Some very problematic news today from the U.S. Mint. #smdh
I don't particularly like Donald Trump. I definitely don't trust Donald Trump. And I absolutely did not vote for Donald Trump. But that doesn't mean I'm going to pretend he's been the President of the United States for the past 8 years, and that all the bad stuff in the world is now his fault.
How in the world did Hillary Clinton lose?
Congratulations, crybullies. Your era is fading fast, but you can still pull out a win every now and then.
Looks like you missed your last shot at the title, Joe. But here ya go. Here's a bauble.