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Jim Treacher

#DayWithoutImmigrants Leads To #ImmigrantsWithoutJobs

1:17 PM 02/20/2017

I believe that everybody has the right to peacefully protest anything or anyone they want. Even if it's something really stupid, like protesting the enforcement of immigration laws because "people aren't illegal." You have the right to do that, no matter how wrongheaded it is.

‘He Will Not Divide Us’ Meets ‘Breaking Bad’

11:33 AM 02/20/2017

If you don't know what "He Will Not Divide Us" is, it's a sort of performance project by Hollywood actor and would-be artist Shia LaBeouf. The idea is to set up a webcam in a public place, in front of a wall with that phrase painted on it. Then, people are supposed to repeat it endlessly for the next four years or the end of the Trump presidency, whichever comes first.

POLL: What Should Trump Make Chris Christie Eat?

4:02 PM 02/17/2017

Today we learned that when Donald Trump and Chris Christie dined together at the White House earlier this week, Trump told everybody to order what they wanted. Except for Christie, who got what Trump wanted both of them to eat: meatloaf. That's just how it goes.

Assaulting People For Wearing Red Hats Will Not End Well

2:30 PM 02/17/2017

To recap one of the left's favorite arguments over the past month: It's okay to punch "Nazis," because Indiana Jones did it. Never mind that you can't shoot Muslims in the street just because Indiana Jones did it. The point is that if you tweet a picture of an actor doing something in a movie, that means it's okay to do the same thing in real life to people you don't like.

Scientists Close To Bringing Back The Wooly Mammoth For Some Reason

5:31 PM 02/16/2017

As if it's not bad enough that we've got all these animals taking up space on our planet, eating people and leaving big turds everywhere and generally being an annoyance, now the smart fellers want to bring back animals that have been extinct for thousands of years. Great idea, dorks!

What To Do When Somebody Gives You The Ol’ Trump Handshake

3:37 PM 02/16/2017

I never noticed it until people started pointing it out, but President Trump has a weird handshake sometimes. He grabs the other guy's hand and starts pulling on it like he's trying to start a lawnmower. I don't know if it's a dominance thing, or maybe Trump is just an awkward guy? Seems like it's not a lot of fun for the other feller, though.

Bao Bao Is Finally Going Away

1:18 PM 02/16/2017

Who is Bao Bao? Bao Bao is a stupid panda at the National Zoo in DC. Supposedly, it's a big deal that Bao Bao was born in America -- hello, so was I, nobody cares, nobody should care -- and it's an even bigger deal what Bao Bao is being shipped off to China. I say good riddance, but apparently some people are sad about it.

Orange Coast College Suspends Student Who Recorded Prof Calling Election ‘Act Of Terrorism’

6:39 PM 02/15/2017

A couple of months ago, a student at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, California, took the following video of Olga Pere Stable-Cox, his human sexuality professor, pontificating about the 2016 election. The delightfully named Stable-Cox called the election an "act of terrorism," labelled Mike Pence an "anti-gay human" and lamented that any American could vote for Donald Trump.

Indiana Jones And The Series Of Aeronautical Mishaps

9:24 AM 02/15/2017

Who doesn't like Harrison Ford? Nobody doesn't like Harrison Ford, that's who. From 8 to 80, everybody wants the guy around for years to come, appearing in movies and making people say, "I sure do like that Harrison Ford." But apparently he doesn't want that, considering he can't cool it with his whole "Hey, let's crash this airplane" bit.