This article contains spoilers for “South Park: Not Suitable For Children” on Paramount+
The latest “South Park” special dropped Wednesday, and it is one of the best things ever created in the history of entertainment. Ever.
“South Park: Not Suitable For Children” is the best special ever developed by Matt Stone, Trey Parker and their absolutely incredible production team for one simple reason: It campaigns for parents to actually protect their children from the rot defining this moment in history.
The main targets in this special are: OnlyFans, a real-life website where everyone can send homemade pornography to each other; an energy drink plugged by a character who is clearly supposed to be a piss-take of Logan Paul, called Logan LaDouche; and what I assume is diversity, equity and inclusion programs.
The energy drink plugged by LaDouche is called “CRED” and if you’re seen at South Park Elementary without your CRED then you have no CRED. Cartman believes he and his friends have the best CRED, so he starts an “affinity group” only he and three others are allowed to join. But that doesn’t stop this affinity group from handing out flyers all over the school to remind people they are unwelcome because they don’t have the same CRED as they do. (RELATED: Dear Kay: My Kids Want To Be Professional Social Media Influencers. What Should I Do?)
At least as far as this part of the story goes, CRED feels like an obvious metaphor for these DEI groups where students are marginalized by their race and religion during school hours instead of being celebrated. Said “affinity groups” in the real world often refuse entry to participants based on the color of their skin, ultimately hurting children and confusing them into being more racist.
But as the story moves forward, it gets so much darker. One of the teachers at South Park Elementary is caught with an OnlyFans account. While most are horrified, Randy Marsh (Stan’s dad) is inspired to start his own account, but can’t get any views because — in true Randy fashion — he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing.
So he goes to see a specialist, who explains that if Randy features trending topics in his pornography, and promotes it on TikTok, Meta and other social media platforms, he’ll get more views. The biggest topic in South Park that week? CRED. So Randy unwittingly starts making and marketing pornography to children. (RELATED: South Park Clips Perfectly Predicted How Insane The Left Would Get)
The ultimate takeaway from the episode is to get your kids off the internet immediately, and then get your head out of your arse! Every time a child uses the internet, some scum-sucking slug human (globalists from politics and Big Business) is selling them products they don’t need, corrupting their minds with shit that makes them useless to society and mostly just destroying emerging generations of Americans so our entire empire is easier to collapse when they want it to.
As I watched this episode, a knot formed in my stomach. Could it be that “South Park” is actually more on-point about how to protect our children from the insanity of modernity than literally everyone else?
YEAH. DUH. “South Park” has always been spot on when it comes to social decline, particularly when it comes to protecting children from the evils of adults. I just hope this last bastion of free speech in pop culture doesn’t go the same way as just about everything else in Western civilization and can retain its place as the most honest piece of programming on our televisions today.