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Washington State Dept. Of Natural Resources Mocks ‘Awareness’ Months In One Explosive Post

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Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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The Washington State Department of Natural Resources absolutely nailed the absurdity of “Awareness” months in a single explosive post reshared on social media Wednesday.

“Awareness” months are arguably some of the silliest things we’ve created as a species; a virtue signal designed to make big businesses look like they care about us plebs. This vomit-inducing faux interest for the myriad “issues” we dedicate our calendar to was absolutely ripped apart (perhaps not intentionally) in an utterly brilliant tweet from the Washington State Department of Natural Resources back in 2023: “May is Volcano Awareness Month. We have volcanoes. You are now aware. See you next May.”

Did you know that May is “Volcano Awareness Month?” Neither did I, because every month is “Volcano Awareness Month” if you’re absolutely fascinated by the most explosive and dangerous behaviors of this crazy spinning rock we call Earth.

A year after the department shared the good news, Mount St. Helens chimed in about what volcano month means to her since she’s one of America’s most popular volcanoes. “It’s my month bitches,” said the explosive dacite volcano.

Mount St. Helens is a volcano in Washington State that had a big tantrummy explosion back in the 1980s and is still somewhat dining out on the admittedly well-deserved fame. (RELATED: Sun Ramps Up Activity, Threatening Power Grid, Flights)

Also, did you know that all volcanoes are technically female* because they tend to get really angry when their hormones (magma) heat up, typically causing massive bloating (land deformation) that can only be relieved with gaseous explosions that are potentially deadly for all those in the immediate vicinity? This is the exact same process women experience after eating really heavy food and is typically accompanied by a terrible attitude toward just about everything. There is no scientific difference between the two**. (*this is a lie; **so is this).


Anyway, “Awareness” months are stupid unless they’re about volcanoes, maybe earthquakes, definitely hurricanes (which technically take up five months from June 1 to Nov. 30) and probably floods and wildfires. None of these natural disasters, nor many other risks from Mother Nature, get anywhere near enough attention or emphasis in our education system as ideological tropes. (RELATED: Volcanic Eruption Destroyed Unique, Never-Before-Seen Life-Forms)

Unlike the ever-changing topic of what a woman is, these natural disasters — though having amazing social media game — pose a serious risk to human life and society every single year. I’m so relieved that someone, somewhere, realized how important this subject matter is to saving lives and finally made it funny as heck. Whoever you are: Thank you.

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