Editorial

Some Left-Wing Outlet I’ve Never Heard Of Wrote A Hit Piece On My Loch Ness Monster Coverage And I’m Over Here Dying

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Andrew Powell Sports and Entertainment Blogger
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Thank you, Daily Kos — for the pure laughter, free promotion and grade A blogging content.

So there I was Monday night, grindin’ as usual in what was already a whirlwind day with me pushing the narrative heavily that my Miami Dolphins got robbed, because they did, against the Philadelphia Eagles — you can check out those pieces here, here and here (I had to get in the shameless plugging).

Well, while I was minding my own business, thinking about my Phins and working towards my weekly quota, somebody sent me a text and informed me that the left-wing Daily Kos (yeah, I have no idea who the hell they are either) published a hit piece on both me and the Daily Caller for my Loch Ness Monster coverage. (LMAO)

I’m not even kidding you, dude. Check out this comedy.

And here’s my latest Loch Ness Monster story — again, more shameless plugging:

The Daily Kos’ piece, written by a blogger named @ClimateDenierRoundup (ROFL), started things off by immediately comparing us to the old satirical tabloid Weekly World News and my Loch Ness Monster coverage to “Bat Boy.”

I told you this was gonna be good.

“Long posing as news, but publishing mostly Republican propaganda that serves its donors interests, the Daily Caller is increasingly following Michael Shellenberger’s UFOs-for-clicks strategy, sacrificing the pretense of journalistic integrity for the sake of clicks from people looking for some stupid entertainment.”

By the way, the headline for this blog is titled: “Daily Caller’s Loch Ness Nonsense Shows Outlet Is Happy To Be Stupid For Clicks

I’m dead. *insert skull emoji here* God, I love that headline, straight comedy.

“‘Is This Nessie?’ asked a recent headline…” Holy hell, I love the serious reporting with this whole thing.

“Apparently, the monster made an appearance during an Alzheimer’s Society canoe challenge, which in and of itself could be the set-up to an insensitive joke about the mental faculties of people who read the Daily Caller and believe in monsters.”

Hey! That wasn’t very nice!

“‘Oh man,’ wrote the Caller’s sports and entertainment blogger Andrew Powell, ‘this could honestly go either way.’ Well it could maybe go either way, but only one of those ways is honest.”

These people are nuts, man. Over here sounding like a hard-out political activist over the Loch Ness Monster.

“‘The shape in the water looks exactly how Nessie has been portrayed over the years,’ Powell writes, as though the portrayals over the years haven’t also just been sticks in the water that our human minds shape into a serpent because brains are programmed to make meaning out of random chaos.”

They went on to give me a little credit though…

“And to his credit, he notes that he does ‘also understand the argument of ‘it looks like sand moving with the water’ or just the plain ol’ ‘it looks like water moving.’ ‘Yeah, I get it,’ Powell writes. ‘Not only does it give off the visual of that, but as much as it disappoints me to say, there’s just not much evidence whatsoever the Loch Ness Monster exists.'”

…and then went right back to hammering me.

“Even ‘not much’ is an incredible overstatement, since zero evidence exists. ‘But whether you believe this is Nessie or not,’ Powell continues, ‘you have to be intrigued by the fact that there’s a shape in the water that looks exactly like what I like to view as my sea creature homie — such a cool beast, if true. And hopefully that ends up being the case… LONG LIVE NESSIE!'”

(“sea creature homie” … I’m dying over here)

The Daily Kos then closed out their piece by saying, “Clearly, Powell’s not reporting that Nessie has actually been found and is instead just trying to get some clicks on an obvious Bat Boy situation … More seriously, whenever they [Daily Caller] run climate disinfo or any other supposedly serious stories, everyone needs to remember that this is an outlet that peddles Loch Ness nonsense.” (RELATED: Scientists Find Aliens Could Very Well Be On A Mars Neighbor Planet (And It’s About Time I Get My Tin Foil Hat)

When the hell was Nessie found?

They’re over here calling me out for being an apparent conspiracy theorist, but are also reporting that the Loch Ness Monster has already been discovered. I’m so confused — says a lot about this left-wing rag, they can’t even get their facts straight.

Oh, and they also asked if the Daily Caller was getting funding from “Big Nessie.”

LOL! This whole situation is the left in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen — the kind of ignorance you would expect from that side of the aisle, the kind of people who put out 500+ word hit pieces on SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT bloggers for clearly being a performance artist (for clicks and entertainment, no duh) about the Loch Ness Monster. And in the Daily Caller’s defense, I’M the one picking my stories, not the Caller. So lay off my brand, mkay?

So great.

By the way, have you guys checked out my Bigfoot content?

What about my aliens and UFO content?

And also check out my latest Godzilla piece:

Feel free to blog about all of that too, Daily Kos.

Like I said … the pure laughter, free promotion and grade A blogging content … I’m loving this ish!

In other words, you fools are totally barking up the wrong tree.