Nick Kyrgios, the 2022 Australian Open doubles champion, admitted to having suicidal thoughts during an interview with Jay Shetty on his “On Purpose” podcast.
The tennis star said he contemplated his own life in 2019 and explained the complexity between his on-court success and the struggle he faced in his personal life. “There was a tournament in Mexico, Acapulco, where I was thinking about, I was having suicidal thoughts and, you know, I was just on the balcony of my hotel and I was genuinely thinking about it,” Kyrgios told Shetty.
Kyrgios explained what it was like to go through that scary moment.
“And the worst thing was the media, I was having decent results during that time. And the media was like, ‘Okay, is this a new Nick Kyrgios?’ And I was like, this is the darkest period of my life,” he said.
He went on to explain it took some time for him to realize he needed help.
“I was drinking every night,” the 28-year-old said.”You know, just at the time I thought it was just fun, but it wasn’t fun. It was just self-inflicted pain. And I had friends around me telling me it wasn’t healthy, and I ignored them,” he said.
He was able to pull out of what he called the “darkest time” of his life, but it wasn’t easy. The tennis star spoke about what it was like to contemplate suicide one day, then take the court for a big match the next.
“And I was playing [Rafael] Nadal the next day. It’s like, I looked at myself. I was like, I can’t do this. I have to somehow change these habits,” Kyrgios told Shetty.
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“So I had self-harm everywhere. I had to wear an arm sleeve on the center court of Wimbledon and no one knew any of these problems. And it was, it was hard. And I look back and I just don’t know how I got out of it to be honest, I was such a mess,” Kyrgios told Shetty.
Kyrgios admitted his career nearly came to an end as a result of his struggles, but his fans helped him regain his courage.
“That’s the reason why I probably would have retired and probably stopped playing a couple of years ago if I just kept playing on how I was feeling,” Kyrgios said. (RELATED: Jada Pinkett Smith Talks About Planning Her Suicide)
“But then I realized I’ve got a whole contingent of fans on why they want to see me succeed. So that’s why I love playing now. Like I play for them, but that’s what got me out of it,” he said.