Editorial

Machine Gun Kelly’s New Tattoo Is Proof We Need To Bring Back Bullying

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Robert McGreevy Contributor
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Rapper turned rocker and part-time vampire cosplayer Machine Gun Kelly took his brand of shock-aestheticism way too far after tattooing his entire upper body in weird black ink.

The 33-year old actor and musician debuted his new ink on Instagram Tuesday with the caption “for spiritual purposes only.”

The ink covers the entirety of his shoulders, upper arms and most of his chest, leaving only one cross-shaped section of his chest free of the dark black coloring.


The dude even got his nipples darkened for fuck’s sake.

This is what happens when a culture stops holding our men accountable for their ludicrous behavior.

In modern Western society, being even remotely mean to someone is a major taboo. Safe spaces and workplace seminars on being respectful of all cultures have utterly snuffed out all pretenses of playful banter that doesn’t adhere to strictly enforced social standards.

But I would argue that bullying a dweeb like this into submission is a net good for society. (RELATED: Megan Fox Reveals She Drinks Machine Gun Kelly’s Blood)

I am a strong believer in being kind over being nice. I come from New Jersey where, if you’re stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire, a stranger will pull over and call you an idiot for not knowing how to fix it yourself, but they will indeed help you and send you on your way. Being nice to people is not always the kindest option. Some people really need tough love.

There is a social utility to bullying. Ask anyone who’s lost over 100 pounds in their life why they did it. Many will cite health reasons as the number one reason, but right behind that will likely be some version of “I was sick of getting mean comments on the internet.”

If Machine Gun Kelly had anyone who really loved him in his life they would surely tell him “Dude you look like you got squirted on by an Octopus,” but instead he’s likely surrounded by yes men who told him it was a great idea and that he should totally go for it.

That level of inkage is only acceptable if you’re a Viking warrior hoping to intimidate hordes of Saxons as you storm their beaches. It certainly does not suit a guy who mainly entertains hordes of 16-year-old girls.

MGK’s incredibly weird fashion sense was finally mocked to appropriate levels in early February when UFC fighter Sean Strickland told him to his face he was a “weirdo,” a “vampire man” and said he dresses like a “goth South Park character.”


Strickland, a rare masculine throwback to a bygone era, couldn’t believe that this feminine freak managed to pull one of America’s biggest sex icons in Megan Fox. (RELATED: Megan Fox Opens Up About Doing Hallucinogenic Tea And Vomiting With Machine Gun Kelly In Costa Rica)

“You guys what the fuck is going on………. Transformers Megan Fox is with that thing….. what the actual fuck has happened to the world?” Strickland tweeted in early February.

Strickland is fighting the good fight but we can’t let him do it alone. A shameless culture is not a successful one. You do not want your kids to grow up in a world where they think boys should wear nail polish and get tattoos that look like a fax machine blew up on their nipples.

Machine Gun Kelly is not an icon. He is not a trendsetter or a trailblazer. He’s a weird little boy grasping in the dark for a way to express himself. Maybe if he was bullied just a little bit more he wouldn’t have had the hubris to go after the greatest white rapper in music history who promptly ended his hip-hop career. Because ever since Eminem trounced him on a diss track, it’s been all downhill for him.